Note to Self: Remember others before self!!

I have been thinking about a friend of mine a lot lately. I don’t really know why, but I have. I do know that I miss her a lot. I miss the special place she had in my life. Always praying for me…even when I didn’t ask her to…some how she just KNEW!

My friend is Kelly. She is the wife of my husband’s cousin (Scott). Unfortunately she passed away almost 5 years ago. The story of her passing is a long one, and I really don’t feel like rehashing it. The one thing I will write about is that the funeral home said that there were more people at her visitation than any other they had ever had (at least that is what one of the workers told me). That was how special she was to so many people.

The weekend that she passed away I rushed to Smith’s Grove, Kentucky from Rochester, MN in record time. They told me to get to the hospital in Nashville, and that there were already a few people there. I made it in time to say good-bye. They took her off of life support the next morning…Good Friday. Her funeral was on Easter Sunday.

My family arrived the day after I did, and we stayed a couple of days after the funeral. Sometime between my arrival and my departure I lost all sense of what is right and what is wrong. One of those days (I really can’t remember which one) I became so stinking self-centered, and started doing things that I shouldn’t have. See I was actually supposed to be visiting Kelly and her family the weekend after she died. I was going to go help her go through her children’s clothes and organize a little. We were going to have a “girls” weekend and just visit, laugh, organize, watch movies, and hang out. It was going to be the first time we were able to spend some time together since we had moved to Minnesota.

Anyway, I went upstairs and started going through the girl’s clothes (Kelly and her husband have 6 children), and putting aside things that they were no longer able to wear. After bagging things up I went on the hunt of what else I could do. Laundry…check…dishes…check…straightening up around all the people in the living room…check!! So so selfish!! Not once did I stop and think about the pain that her husband and children were going through. I was only thinking about myself. That I got there too late. I didn’t get to talk to her or visit with her. That I wasn’t going to ever see her again. Who was going to pray for ME?

Not once did I stop and think that these 6 children had just lost their mother. That Scott had just lost the best wife ever! I didn’t think that they may feel like I was “getting rid of Kelly”. I didn’t stop and think that I could have learned something from Kelly and pray for her 6 family members. Pray that the Lord would hold them tightly and take away some of their pain. Nope! I just thought about ME ME ME!!

I am sorry about how self-centered I was during that time…I really am. What I am most sorry about is that I was so selfish that I didn’t stop and pray. I am going to try and finally learn something from my good friend and pray for people before I get so into myself.

Even though the time was short I am so blessed to have had Kelly in my life. I think that I will pray right now that I never ever forget that!